Restless Mind

Will someone tell me what’s wrong with me? I know not what am I doing. I’m completely lost. I look around; every damn thing looks normal except me. Today is one of those days when nothing seems to be right with me. I go out of control. I don’t realise what I do. And the consequences, I realise when the tide is over. I call this phase as the restless state of my mind.
Sounds funny and I do laugh at myself. Ya I do. It helps me control myself. But at least don’t cry. Ask me what I’m doing and expect something supernatural. Ya. My answers do sound that way. I loose control over my mind and my soul. And my body…it just obeys them. I become a poor soul trapped in the body of a demon that can unleash the worst on someone who tries to besiege him. These are the worst days of my life and please for heaven’s sake don’t come close to me.
What makes me go through this phase? Don’t ask. But this time around I surely can tell you. don’t be surprised if you find your name with a blame. What makes someone so curious? So curious that just for his own sake he tries to dig up something from a person whom he knows is just like him. He knows how fragile he is. He knows how cruel he can be.
Something he was afraid to bring out of the closet of his heart because he was afraid of what will be the answer. You new how much affect you had over him when you were talking to him. You still made him do that. That’s fine, I should say. Because it would have come out, but why so early? Didn’t I tell you I won’t be able to bear the pain of waiting? Didn’t I tell you how crazy I go when you’ll make me wait? Forget it, don’t give me an answer for that. Now all I know and all I want is a solution to my restlessness.
And let me tell you, if this made you feel bad, please forgive me because, I’m writing it in that phase.