Oh my gosh!

As I write these words, I guess I have broken the long self proclaimed sabbatical that I had taken from spoiling my blog…As if it was always clean.

This idea of being a corporate pimp is annoying me to the hilt. I gave up my writing for my own good, but now I’ve really started doubting my decision, was it right…was it worth it… I come to college everyday, just for attendance…I study just to pass my exams…I always smile just to show that I am enjoying and I talk a lot just to make people think that I am this funny guy who always keeps smiling...who can bring a smile on anyone’s face…who cannot be taken seriously. But actually I’ve always portrayed myself this way and I’ve always lived this way…so do I need to think so much about what others perceive of me? I donno the answer to my own question…but I guess quizzing myself about what I am doing in life is a good start atleast for someone like me who’s never bothered to know what road I’ve taken in life coz I’m just walking…sometimes alone…sometimes with the herd.

I always loved to write something that would make me proud of myself and I could write anything, but today I feel so numb and dumb and jittery with the thought of writing. I always took something as an inspiration and started writing but today, I’ve got this beautiful girl who really loves me and so do I…what more good inspiration I can ask for…but still look at me, I can’t write.

She is sweet, soft, tender, caring and a little stupid and I love every bit of it. A chirpy girl full of life with a sweet smile…yet here I am…I can’t describe her the way I used to…earlier. Is this idea of being a corporate pimp really taking me away from what I always wanted to be…I guess not. I guess I am just being too lazy to write…to express myself. And I guess it’s high time I get back to something I really love to do…write.